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Orgasm is not the goal - ultimately you need to enjoy yourself!

Growing up with poor sex education, and watching porn, you may think that the ultimate goal of having sex, is to orgasm. This isn’t true! Simply because not everyone CAN orgasm. Here at Love Not War, our goal is to promote having fun in the bedroom and feeling pleasure, whether it’s alone or with a partner(s), so we’ve combined a couple of ways you can have fun in the bedroom, with no end goal in sight- just endless pleasure. 

I’ll take you to the candy shop

Sweet treats can become sensational in foreplay, if used correctly. Using food subtly rather than the focus may be a great way to start, if you haven’t done this before, or if you’re worried about hygiene! Try ‘finger foods’ such as cherries or sweets first, (we’ve heard that slices of mango make for a juicy option!) Or if you have a sweet tooth - give chocolates a go. You can also use food to encourage ‘good behaviour’ in bed… for example, placing food near your intimate spot, so your partner is encouraged to explore other parts of your body before reaching the reward!

New and Improved

Most relationships go through stages where they feel they are stuck in a rut, or are bored. This is completely normal! Everyone gets bored of the same repeated routine, right? This is why it’s important to spice things up or make changes if you’re bored, just like you would in day-to-day life. How about introducing a sex toy into your intimate moments? We would recommend our Meile vibrator, as it can be used for clit stimulation, nipple play and all over eternal love.

Another handy tip, is to ask your friends what they get up to after dark, after all everyone is unique and they may give some great advice!

Masked Ball

To some, this may seem a bit scary or at least out of your comfort zone, however, introducing a blindfold during sex can be a cheap, and simple way to spice up your sex life. After all one of your five senses has gone- so you have no choice but to use your hands more! This is a fun way to get to know your partner's body like the back of your hand, and shift your focus completely to feeling each other.

Fulfil that Fantasy

Let’s be honest, we’ve all had or have a sexual fantasy, no matter how daft it may seem (we all remember Ross from Friends - right?) So why not act it out? Chances are, your partner has one too, so you can take it in turns to act each others out, whether it’s a sexy nurse or schoolteacher, if it excites you and your partner - go for it! It will definitely be on their bucket list and leave them smiling for days.

Not only is this a fun way to communicate with your partner and understand each other more, it will also spice up your sex life! Although you must remember everyone is unique- and as funny as it may seem, don’t laugh at someone’s sexual fantasy, after all, we all have our reasons.

Switching Positions

I don’t know about you, but with partners in the past, I’ve found myself getting into a routine and losing that spark! But there’s absolutely no reason for this to happen, when there are countless positions out there, so what are you waiting for? Get researching, maybe gather a list of 10-20 new sex positions you both want to try, and start ticking off that list. Who knows, you might find one that you both absolutely love, or you may find one that feels like a cardio workout - either way, it’s an intimate moment that the both of you can share!

The internet is brimming with sex positions to try- so start warming up and get flexible!

There are plenty of ways to spice up that sex life, and have fun! It doesn’t have to be costly or super experimental, but it will go a long way in ensuring you both have the best time, which is the goal of sex, really!

Remember, sex isn’t always as it seems on the tv, or what you’ve heard other people say, it’s about you and your sexual partner enjoying yourself and exploring each others bodies. You don’t have to have an orgasm to ‘complete’ sex! Just get out there and have fun. X

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