We celebrated International Women’s Day this Tuesday (8th March), with the key theme being #BreakTheBias when it came to the role of women within the working world. But how has the role of women and changing attitudes towards female and vulva-centred pleasure impacted attitudes towards sex toys? In this article, Love Not War looks at the changing attitudes towards owning a vibrator and how sex toys have become a symbol of empowerment instead of a shameful secret locked in the bedside drawer.
Reasons to use a vibrator
Sex toys can add a slice of variety into your sex life and masturbation sessions, improving your feelings towards sex, your body, and your partner as you experiment. However, the positive reasons to own a vibrator can go beyond pleasure and health benefits. The benefits of masturbation include stress relief, decreased anxiety, better sleep and aids in cardiovascular health. However, with the addition of a sex toy such as our Amore Vibrator, this can increase clitoral stimulation which can lead to more orgasms, and when using an internal vibrator like our Meile, a stronger pelvic floor.
With only 18.4% of straight women reporting to being able to orgasm from vaginal sex alone, the added benefit of using a vibrator on the external vulva area, especially the clitoris, speaks for itself. But also, without making an orgasm the focus of masturbation and sex, using the vibrator has the benefit of allowing you to learn your body and your other erogenous zones as you use it to explore. For people suffering with sexual health issues, including vaginismus and pelvic pain, the use of dilators and smaller vibrators can help with learning to relax and overcome the anxiety around penetrative sex.
Breaking the bias on vibrators
As sex toy brands, including ourselves, move away from creating vibrators that look phallic but are intuitive to the user’s body and pleasure zones, using a vibrator is becoming a great tool in self-discovery, self-pleasure, and sexual knowledge when it comes to the body and our genitals.
Sex toys are also becoming easier to manage both during masturbation and sex, as they become smaller, like our own vibrator range. The narrative towards buying sex toys has now shifted to a feeling of empowerment, and brands like us are helping to break down the stigma. This of course, is helped by countless celebrities endorsing sex toys and taking part in the #IMasturbate campaign. A number of famous activists and writers are talking about their own masturbation habits or even going as far as to create their own line of sex toys, each offering different sensations as they focus on what they like. Using a vibrator can empower different people in numerous ways, with the outcome of having a better sex life all around.
For growing women, owning and exploring with sex toys can help gain or re-gain body confidence: as Dr. Donaghue said in an interview with bustle:
“Sex toys allow you to experiment with different sensations, stimulation areas and simultaneous pleasure points in a safe manner, giving you the gift of knowing what makes you feel good. Then, you can repeat this roadmap with yourself or know exactly what to communicate to your partner.”
This can be backed up by the results of a study in which, they found that 52.5% of people with a vulva, aged 18-60 are using a vibrator with the findings seeing more health-promoting behaviours and positive sexual function in genital areas. Including a rise in self- examinations and getting gynaecology examinations. Showing that a more vulva-focused form of sex education and frank discussions about sex, pleasure and female masturbation positively impacts our relationship with our bodies and sex toys are becoming a tool to do just that.
For the older generation, using a toy can help to regain a sexual confidence that has gone away as libidos decrease and the menopause happens. By using a vibrator regularly, you can vastly improve your sex life in several ways, including keeping the vaginal opening healthy and widening the entrance that naturally shrinks as we get older. As well as regularly stimulating pleasure receptors, allowing for natural lubrication to reproduce, making sex with a partner painless. As well as this, when in long term relationships, heterosexual women are more likely to enjoy sex when their partner knows about sex toys, with only 18.4% of women able to orgasm from penetration alone, by using a vibrator externally on the clit allows both partners to gain enjoyment and potentially reach orgasm during sex, decreasing the orgasm gap one screaming o at a time.
Having a conversation about using toys during foreplay and sex, opens healthy conversations about intimacy, desires and boundaries which creates trust and the perfect foundation for good sex. Overall, owning a vibrator at any age or stage in your life has moved away from being a shameful secret, and is now being embraced as an empowering and positive tool that can help you gain self-love, self-confidence and take ownership of your pleasure and your body.
As discussions on the orgasm gap still take place, with majority of straight women being unable to achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation, vibrators have taken centre stage in helping to improve the sex life of many. As we look to break down stigma when it comes to talking about pleasure and sexual freedom for women, the owning of a sex toy can be empowering for varied reasons and a way to explore your body outside of sex and learn what you like.
Owning a vibrator is not something one needs to feel ashamed about, it is a symbol of self-love, intimacy and pleasure as sex toys become increasingly popular both for solo play and within a couple as well.
Written by Katrina Fairhurst