You’re in bed, making out, everything’s going great and getting really hot. You’re both ready to take the foreplay to the next step, but when faced with a penis - you may start to somewhat doubt your skills. After all, each person likes different things. Fortunately, when any penis is met with a mouth, it’s a recipe for great pleasure, and it’s almost impossible to give bad head. However, we’re still here to give you some tips on how to give amazing head, leaving that peen wanting more…
There’s no rush
Don’t just go straight in, take it slow, leave them guessing what may be next. There’s no rush to get to the main act, slowly undress them. There is no script when it comes to this, contrary to what you see in the movies or porn. We’re aware that the usual series of events is: make out, hand stuff, oral, penetrative sex that ends in an orgasm. This isn’t real life and there’s no end goal during sex, it’s about having fun and learning what you both love.
Start by touching them, rubbing their shoulders, arms, legs, let them get comfortable and ease them into it. Slowly lead your hands to the crotch area. Maybe touch them everywhere but that area, and when you finally reach that area, you may even hear them sigh (with pleasure) because they know as well as you do, it’s about to happen.
Get to know their favourite techniques
Firstly, it’s good to know what everything is! The frenulum is the underside of the penis head, which for many, is the most sensitive part of the penis. It’s great to start by kissing the tip of the penis (the head) then moving down to the underside with the tip of your tongue. You can then slowly move up and down the shaft with your tongue, giving gentle kisses before licking the penis. This will give you, if you don’t know, an idea of the size, and will help build saliva too!
Slowly slide your lips over the head and back off, the heat from your mouth will help here too. If you’ve got a free hand, stroke the base of the penis whilst licking and sucking the tip. Or maybe play with their balls.
Don’t ask toooo many questions
If they tell you something feels good, carry on, you don’t need to ask for in-depth feedback, or wait for them to tell you, but you can usually gather gentle hints from noises they may make.
Also, don’t ask them if they are close to finishing, remember there is no end goal here, and saying something like this may make them feel like you’re waiting for them to finish, which could lead to performance anxiety. If they are having a good time, they may not be saying anything and that’s okay.
You’re not the only person
Some people don’t have a gag reflex, and that’s great, but most people do and that’s fine! There is absolutely no rush and no need to stick the whole penis in your mouth in one go. Start by breathing with the penis inside your mouth, and as it moves towards your throat, take it steady, you’ll know where you start to feel uncomfortable, and where your limit lies.
This could be a great time to incorporate toys into giving head, simply hold a vibrator and the base of the penis whilst you focus on the tip. At LOVE NOT WAR, we have plenty of toys such as KOI or LASKA that are perfect for this.
The most important thing to remember, is that giving head isn’t about an orgasm. A lot of people can’t orgasm from head alone. Also, if you don’t want them to cum in your mouth, that’s okay too. Communication is key. Blow jobs are about creating pleasure for both parties.